Diary of a babydyke first entry

Dear Diary

This is my very first entry in my diary that I was given for my birthday by my godmother. I suppose I should tell you all about myself, my family and my best friends. My name is Kate Riley and I’m 16 years old. I have two sisters (Anne and Ruth) and a brother (Peter). We all go to Catholic colleges except for my youngest sister who’s too young to go to school, being a baby. My full sister and myself had a different father from the other two because our father died when I was seven and she was four and a half. I don’t remember much about him but I remember missing him terribly. When I had a bike (about ten), I would ride to the cemetery and visit his grave. I would hope a golf ball would land on his grave and he would wake up. How pathetic. I haven’t been there for years but I haven’t forgotten him. I don’t like my stepfather. He was my Dad’s best mate but we don’t have the parties we used to have when my Dad was alive. He’s not a Catholic either and he and Mum had to get married at the side altar because the main one in the centre is for Catholics only. Interestingly, my Mum married both her husbands at the same side altar at the same church. I was nine by now and it was a cold June day in Melbourne. My Dad’s mother was there as well as Mum’s mother (it was her church). The only other time I remember them being together was when my Dad died. They were seated in the lounge room and I’d been at a neighbour’s as I had a sore throat. I kept saying “where’s Daddy?” This hadn’t happened to anyone I knew in our street or at school. According to one girl, they were told to treat me gently as my father had died. I only just found that from one of my friends.

I have two lots of friends. One larger group I hang out with at school. We’re not sporty nerds nor are we computer nerds. We just like to sit around at lunchtime and shoot the breeze. Within this group are those I hang out with at weekends and go on outings. Then there is a group that I go to dances with and we spend nearly all of Saturday negotiating with each others’ parents to take us to a dance and bring us home. The homeward bound is always trickier as it’s around midnight so we often get a lift with a boy whom we’ve just met. Not good but what the oldies don’t know won’t hurt them.

My second lot of friends I see only once a week and we are Girl Guides. I really love this group where I am a leader and have nearly all my First Class badges. I’m not sure about my Queens Guide as I don’t know any group, besides the orphanage where another Guide volunteers, where I could do the same for my community service. I tell myself it doesn’t matter but a little bit of me does. I’m rather shy and have trouble putting myself forward. Except in the Guide meetings and on camp.

I really like one of the adult leaders, a young blonde, who kisses us goodnight when we’re on camp. I missed out one night and asked for two kisses. How bold!

Which reminds me – where am I going to hide this diary from prying eyes, like my sister. We’ve never got on and she would get into my dolls when I was at school and play with them. I was over playing with them but I didn’t want anyone else touching them.

I forgot my street friends. I used to play football with the boy next door and I’m the best kick in the street. I now hang out with his sister. They both go to the local high school and I wish I did, too. It’s only a short walk away but it’s not a Catholic school. Whereas I have to catch a bus.

Anyway, my friend, Jane, and I hang out with two boys in the next street. One of the boys has a twin sister in my class but I’ve never seen her outside. They live next door to my French teacher whom I think is gorgeous. I don’t want to admit it but my reason for spending all this time with the boys is so I can be with my girlfriend and near my teacher, in case she comes out.

This sounds like I do a lot of talking. As I wrote before,  I’m rather shy and don’t like speaking in public. In fact, I’ve avoided reading in class for eight years. I used to hide in the chapel when I was younger until a nun came along and booted me out. She was right. I enjoy the sunshine but not getting burnt as happened last summer. We’re always admonished to ‘slip, slop, slap’ and our school has even re-introduced wide-brimmed hats. And each classroom has a large container of suntan lotion. Those exempt are the ones who have passes to go to the library or the computer complex. My friends and I try and find some shade, preferably under the tree. And shoot the breeze til the bell goes.


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