I went to the school office this morning at recess to make an appointment to see the counsellor. I told my friends I’d meet them later as I had some personal business to attend to. “You know, paying the fees.”
I was really nervous and walked up and down the corridor, getting up the courage. I’d tried last week but nobody was in the office. In the end I just walked up to the counter where there was a nun on duty, Sr. Ann. I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about this but I’d found her friendly in the past. I told her what I wanted and she checked my lessons against the counsellor’s diary.
It was so easy, with no interruptions from anyone else. She did ask me if there was something bothering me and would I be alright until my appointment. I said, “Thanks, I’ll be fine.”
Whew, I’m sure glad I didn’t get another office lady who’d been heard to say nothing nice about lesbians and they’d better stay away from her daughter. I know our school is good but her daughter could have gone to a mixed school.
After school, my friends and I rode our bikes home. We didn’t ride every day and especially not when it was raining. This day I was really glad I had my bike because blood had seeped through my tunic. I had changed my pad at lunchtime, which was always traumatic as I didn’t want anyone to see me and know I had my period. Besides being painful, it was also heavy and this day the new pad couldn’t cope. I had looked down at my chair and there was blood on it. I quickly wiped it off with my hanky. No one seemed to notice as they were busy packing up, too. I quickly found my pinafore on my peg and put it on. I figured that people would think I had forgotten to take it off. I didn’t think to go to the office to get another pad and a change of tunic. I was just full of panic and despair. I didn’t want this monthly mess and pain. I didn’t want to be married and have children. It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t I have been born a boy? They had the privileges and could run wherever and whenever they liked. I was condemned to a life of being a lady, a mother, a wife. NOT FAIR.